| Copyright The Washington Post Company Sep 26,
1993
This Week's Contest: Interpret any of these ink blots. If you rotate
one, please indicate which end is up. First-prize winner receives a
two-person horse costume for Halloween, a value of $90. Runners-up, as
always, get the coveted Style Invitational losers' T- shirts. Winners will
be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to
the Style Invitational, Week 30, The  Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, or
fax them to 202-334-4312. Urgent secret emergency message to anyone still
reading the fine print: For reasons that will become apparent, we are
desperate for funny material next week! Get your favorite jokes to us by
Wednesday. The best will win a fine vintage toaster. Thank you. Now back
to our regularly scheduled blather. Entries must be received on or before
Monday, Oct 4. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will
be announced in three weeks. No purchase necessary. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families are not eligible
for prizes.
Report from Week 27, in which we asked you to coin eponyms, words based
on the names of famous people.
Fourth Runner-Up: STOCK- DALE noun The place your mind wanders off to
when you daydream. (Paul Sabourin, Greenbelt) Third Runner-Up: To CUO- MO
verb To edge forward and back up repeatedly when attempting to turn onto a
busy thoroughfare, to the annoyance of
| other drivers. (Peter Owen, Williamsburg)
Second Runner-Up: DEE |
DEE noun Short, substanceless commentary. "I went to the press
conference hoping for a good story, but all I got was dee dee." (Kate
| Sparks and Sarah Ducich, Washington, and Laura
Sokol, Warsaw.) |
| First Runner-Up: To PACK WOOD verb To be glad
to see someone. (Chuck |
| Smith, Woodbridge) And the winner of the giant
flag of a cow: |
To SHA- LIK- A- SHVI- LI verb To ensure a low profile for a program or
agency by appointing a director whose name no one can pronounce or spell
or even fit in a headline. "We finally shalikashvilied the White House
travel office by appointing Joe Bkistellzrtngounmr!" (Sharon Kuykendall,
Takoma Park) Elvises: SPIN- O- ZA noun A philosophical underpinning used
to support a specious statement or argument. "The White House put the old
spinoza on reactions to the
| president's health care plan." (Stuart A.
Segal, Vienna) HAM- |
| LISCH MA- NEU- VER noun The hugging of oneself.
(Chuck Smith, |
| Woodbridge) LIM- BAUGH- GER noun A huge, soft
white cheese with a |
very strong odor and flavor. Hard to digest. (Jeff Gold, Washington)
GER- GEN- ZO- LA noun A smooth, bland cheese. (Tom Gearty, Arlington) To
TED- DY verb To take off one's pants and act nonchalantly. "You know, I
think Mike has been acting pretty weird lately. He's teddied before, but
now he does it all the time at parties." (Nick Dierman, Potomac) To CHUNG
verb To ruin something by making it too cute. "That was a great house till
they chunged it up with Precious-Moment figurines." (Kate Sparks and Sarah
Ducich, Washington, and Laura
| Sokol, Warsaw) To SU- NU- NU verb To fly long
distances at |
government expense to keep an appointment with the family dentist. "I'm
Sununuing at Martha's Vineyard this year." (John Kupiec,
| Springfield) TSONG noun A sensible melody that
no one wants to |
| hear. (Paul Sabourin, Greenbelt) MC- GINN- ISS
STOUT noun Faux |
| beer. (Stefanie Weldon, Silver Spring) CLIN+TON
noun A bulk unit |
| of fast-food hamburgers, usu. 2,000 pounds.
"Over four Clintons |
| sold." (Larry Schuler, Fairfax) To SHAT- NER
verb To chew the |
| scenery, swallow it and convert it to fatty
tissue. (Paul Kondis, |
| Alexandria) DOLE- BY noun A sound system used
to amplify unwanted |
| white noise. (Paul Sabourin, Greenbelt) LOV-
ETT noun Someone |
| extremely lucky in love. (Chuck Smith,
Woodbridge) HELMS- MAN noun |
| Head of a knee-jerk conservative organization.
(Linda and Eric M. |
| Drattell, North Potomac) HAFT & HAFT noun A
dairy creamer with a |
| shelf-life of 40 years, after which it
separates. (Joanne Findley, |
| West River, Md.) ROBB noun A nude massage, and
nothing else. |
| "Mmmm, thank you Sven, dahling, you know I
needed more than a robb." |
| (David H. Green, Great Falls) AL- GO+RITHM
METH- OD noun A system |
| of birth control based on boring one's partner
into disinterest. |
| (Kathy Weisse, Sykesville; also, Ken Linker,
Falls Church) NIX- ON- |
ER- ATED verb, past tense Cleared of criminal responsibility while
still remaining guilty and pernicious in the popular mind. "Ollie North
was nixonerated in the Iran-contra affair." (Tom Gearty,
| Arlington) And Last: CHUCK- SMITH noun A
collector of T- |
| shirts. (Donald L. Thompson, Gaithersburg)
CHUCK noun A T-shirt |
| for losers, as popularized by Chuck Smith,
Woodbridge. "The Chuck's |
| in the mail." (Mike Thring, Leesburg) EL- VIS
noun An honorable |
mention. "Dang! Not another Elvis!" (Mike Thring, Leesburg)
Next Week: Some Desperate Attempt To Be Funny |
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